Why My Hair Dont Grow No More

Seriously, is there anything more universally ridiculed?  You outgrew your hair, live with it.  You aren’t fooling anyone (We know you are bald.  Seriously.  We know). 

Comb over, comb forward, comb around … it’s all lame. Just shave it off dude.  You lost your hair, it’s gone.  Bald men are hot!

Denial is only the first stage.  I understand, we all go through it.  You aren’t supposed to get stuck at denial, you are supposed to move on to anger then bargaining then depression so you can finally accept.

Let this blog be a motivation.  Go ahead, shave it off.  Post a pic for motivation for other comb overs. 

If I ever get a comb over, go ahead and shoot me.  Save this post in case you are charged for murder or something. The judge would understand.  Unless he has a comb over, then you are out of luck.

I wonder how many people were spanked at least once as children.  I suspect the number is larger than we think.  They may deny it, but it’s true.  Heck I’ve been spanked for being spanked (I had bony bums that hurt my mum’s hand as she was spanking me). 
[Okay, that didn’t really happen but it sounded funny]

The problem with spanking is that it doesn’t really work.  My brother and I actually came up with a beating scale.  “How expensive do you think this is?”  “I think it’s four beatings”  “Woa, cheap, lets do it.” 
My mom’s smart though, caught on one day.  I had a deprived childhood from that day on.  I didn’t really know what to do.  It’s like if the supermarket removes price tags from all its products. 

Jokes aside, these kids!  I swear there are days I contemplate spanking, or jumping out the window.  They really learn how to push your buttons early.  I caught Ayaan drawing on the leather couch, with a butter knife:
“Hey hey hey, stop!  What are you doing????”
“I am drawing a choo choo train.” 
“Why?????” 
“Because I am drawing a choo choo train.” 
“Why are you drawing it on the couch?” 
“Because I am drawing it on the couch.” 
“Why are you using a knife?”
“Because I am using a knife.” 
“Why aren’t you using paper and pencil?”
“Because I am not using paper and pencil.” 

Argh, I took the knife away and left a screaming child behind as I took a note to myself: “teach this boy the meaning of word ‘because’.” 

And they wonder where my hair went.

I have the sweetest cats that ever lived.
Sushi, the 4 month old, eats a teaspoon of liquid food every morning. Spice, the year-and-a-half-old, does not.  But every morning Spice comes in  meowing, drags me to the fridge and literally pushes me until I put a teaspoon of cat food in the bowl.  Then Spice calmly walks away so Sushi can eat it.  Heck Sushi even stopped asking for it since she knows Spice will do it for her. 

He was the sweetest kid in the world:

 I was full of hair.   No receding hairline, no thinning hair.  Nice hair, blowing in the wind.

Then he got a bit older:

My smile was replaced by stress zits.  By now I had a receding hairline.  And then he got older:

He turned into a 'tank', as my neighbour calls him.  By now my hair is gone, the dining table is broken, hardwood is scratched up (as are his sibling's faces). 

And he is only two!!! :| :| :|. 

Reminds me of my undergrad at the University of Waterloo:

Source: http://www.socialsignal.com/cartoon/cherchez-la-femme. 

Me: “Safiya, who is the best girl in your class"?”
Safiya: “Me :)”
Me: “Who else?”
Safiya: “xyz”
Me: “How come?”
Safiya: “Cuz she has pretty eyes and … <goes to describe physical features>”
(Note: from “best” she took “best looking”)

Me: “Hamza, what about in your class?”
Hamza: “xyz”
Me: “How come?”
Hamza: “Cuz he is my best friend”

:)

This shows why my wife and I don't watch movies together.

She comes back from watching 'The Time Traveler's Wife'. Our conversation went like this:

"It was such a good movie"
"Let me guess [I knew it was a girly movie]. The guy travels back in time and meets his wife when she was a child"
"You read the book"
"I didn't even know there was a book"
"No, it was actually good"
"Time travel? They are always so cheesy with their bad science explanation"
"No they didn't have a machine"
"How did he travel through time?"
"He had a gene"
"Huh?"
"Ya, a time travel gene"
"Oh ya, that's not cheesy at all. What a smart explanation [sarcasm]!"
"No, it was good because it wasn't like those movies where he didn't want to change the past cuz he did not want the future to be impacted"
"So it was like those movies where no matter what he did, the outcome was the same cuz what happened, happened?"
"Uh, ya. He couldn't save his mom no matter what he did"
"Oh ya ... ahem .... not like time travel movies at all"
"No but he dies"
"Sad ending?"
"No, he comes back to meet his wife"
"From death?"
"No, from the past before he died"
"Umm...Ya"
"What?"
"So he didn't win a lottery then"
"Oh no, he did"
"What?"
"He saw the numbers and went back to buy the ticket"
"Right. Can't save his mother from dying cuz he cannot alter history but lottery ticket, that's ok"
"What?"
"Nothing. How did his clothes travel with him?"
"See, they didn't. that's what was cool. He always ended up naked"
"Oh, so he did not meet his wife when she was a child?"
"He did, she was only 6"
"And he was naked?"
"Yes"
"And she did not run to her parents screaming?"
"No, he asked for her blanked"
"Of course. that's not creepy at all"
"What?"
"Nothing. Sounds like a wonderful movie"

Producers should be fired. If my 7 year old daughter sees a naked man lying in the fields I sure as heck hope she would run to me screaming. Anything less and I failed miserably as a parent. Sheesh.

I watch a LOT of sci-fi (and therefore, a lot of time traveling movies - which i hate with a passion). The only two time travel movies I have ever enjoyed are Back to the Future series (duh, but cuz it's comical) and Time Machine (that had potential but did not live it).

My wife and kids have been sick, really sick.  Worse, they don’t wake up at night at the same time. Instead, they take turns.  Operating on very little sleep, there was only one logical thing to do the day my mother-in-law came over to help out: FENCE THE YARD :).

One day’s work:

In the hindsight catching up with sleep may have been better, but hey. 

 

Zeeshan.

My 5 year old comes up to me the other day and says, "Baba, why do some people say 'black people' and 'white people'".
Not knowing where he was going with that, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"Because", he goes, "everyone's brown. Some people are just lighter brown than others".

Now that I think about it, he's right. There is just one race, the brown people :).