Why My Hair Dont Grow No More

• I never thought it would be so easy to stick my hand in the toilet to recover yet another thing Ayaan threw in and tried to flush down
• Use “because I said so” often.  It is a valid reason.  Do it because I would like you to do it!
• I never, ever, thought there would be moments I would have to struggle not to spank these kids.  I mean, what kind of monster wants to hit a 3 year old.  Apparently the monster who has to live with the said 3 year old. 
• Who ever thought I would happily stand in line for 40-freaking-five minutes for a 60 second pony ride?

It was bothering the kids that our cats were not married.  So instead of talking about the difference between monogamous humans and, ya know, cats, my wife decided to hold a wedding ceremony to get the cats married.

Update: I am sad to inform you that the groom left his bride at the altar.  We have no idea where Spice is hiding.  I guess he really wanted to maintain his freedom.  What freedom! He’s even a real man anymore, poor thing.  Sorry Sushi, another day perhaps.  

Hamza, to me: “When you were still a man…”
Me, horrified: “wait, what do you mean ‘still a man’?”
Hamza: “You know, when you were a grownup”

Shew!  For a second I thought he did not think of me as a man.  Wait, what does he mean when I was a grownup? 

Ayaan, not 3 yet, had to go to the bathroom. He comes running: “I have to do it!” 
“Do what?”, I ask.
”Baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do”
”Who told you that, Ayaan”
”Tommy, from the TV”

Thank you Tommy, from the TV, for encouraging him to “do it” in the bathroom instead of his usual spot, under the coffee table on my antique rug.