Why My Hair Dont Grow No More

… having to clean poo from your favourite antique rug (hand-knitted, vegetable colours, the whole 9-yard) or having to go hunting around the house for poop because your 2 year old decided to change himself after the accident.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that my 7 year old got two love notes last week. She got a marriage proposal yesterday! Must resist temptation to put fear of God in a 7 year old boy’s heart.  Wife won’t let me give him a wedgie either!   What’s a father to do????

Saw Ayaan punching his sister.

Me: “Ayaan, what are you doing” – I hoping it was enough to indicate that I was watching, therefore he should stop.
Ayaan: “I am punching her cuz she turned the Wii off” - At this point, he kicks her.  So much for me “watching”.

What the heck did my parents do to make me so terrified of them?????

Ayaan comes home with a small motorcycle.

Me: Ayaan, may I see it please?
Ayaan, looking around: You can see that car over there
Me: I want to see the motorcycle, I will give it back to you.

At this point Ayaan walks up to the couch, lifts the cushion, slides the motorcycle underneath, shows me his hands and says:
Ayaan: It’s gone now. 

It’s official.  My 2 year old thinks I am a moron. 

I wonder if the fact that I played around and acted all shocked that he made the motorcycle disappeared right before my eyes had something to do with it. 

The conversation  happened after Ayaan came back from his play-group thing.

Me: Ayaan, what did you do?
Ayaan: I ching a chong (translation: I sang a song)
Me: What song did you sing?
Ayaan: A. B. Chee. Tee.
Me: Can you sing it to me please?
Ayaan: No, I am poken (broken)
Me: Awww, how did you break?
Ayaan: I pell op the pike (I fell off the bike)
Me: Oh no, what happened
Ayaan: And I pleeded (bled)
Me: Oh no, how did you bleed?
Ayaan: I was triving (driving) at it and I pell op (fell off) and I pleeded (bled)
Me: How did you fall down?
Ayaan: Because I pell down
Me: Awww, how did you fall?
Ayaan: Because I was triving at it and I pell op and I pleeded.
Me: But how did you fall?
Ayaan (frustrated tone): Because I WAS TRIVING AT IT AN I PELL OP AND I PLEEDED AND I AM POKEN (broken)
Me: But....
Ayaan: I am not talking.

And he walks away.